{este soy yo}

Mi foto
San Salvador, San Salvador, El Salvador
En algún momento soy diseñador, en otros artista, en algún tiempo soy docente, a veces soy muchas cosas, y me gusta amar lo que hago. A veces sólo existo. Y otras soy yo. Miembro de: Helio Colectivo Creativo, JCI El Salvador, Red Vanguardia, Espacio Migrante, Moby Dick Teatro.

viernes, 4 de enero de 2008

{Sometimes - first thoughts of 2008}

Sometimes, I take decissions... without knowing really why.
sometimes I am not sure what I am doing
Why... IF you love me so... I am doing this?
why... if you won't leave me alone,
I am leaving you?
why... If I need you and you need me... I keep on doing this?
sometimes... I do so many stupid things.
and probably I should let go
but sometimes I just can't
how do I really know if what I am doing,
is the right thing to do?
am I so scared to be alone?
am I so alone to be scared?
and again... I want to cry... and just let everything fall on me
all the tears... will they ever drown me?
I know... keep on fighting, keep on looking to the sky...is it just me?
am I just doing everything completely wrong?
love....am I really alone or I'm just lying... again to myself.
I need to see you ok, I need to know you will be ok,
I need to be someone.
but I am probably being everything but what I dream of
living...dying...is it really my choice?
would the people around me be better without me?
how would the world be without a simple life like mine?
I will just stop this
and I would like to take the batteries off my head.
off my heart.
and be like those ones... without loving.
but then I remember how being loved feels,
and again, I remember how it hurts as well
this is life.
just a way
just somehow a scape
and I will be ok
will I really?
I wish I wouln't give that much importance to my feelings
and just leave everything left behind
leave and run
run again
against my feelings
against my thoughs
sometimes I feel dead
sometimes I feel that I am so mistaken and nobody will actually try to understand the way I feel
or is it me the one that likes not to be understood
is it me the one playing here
and the one that believes that one magical day will save me
and will show me the light
will I keep waiting for that day.
will one day be mine
will I ever be that day
sometimes I get so lost by myself
and sometimes I get caught by my hands
inspired on love..... on pain
sometimes I like to suffer it makes me feel alive
makes me feel that I am someone
that lives
that is breathing
but is this what I really want?
or is this just a game
again with myself
I am not sure today
I am not so sure.

1 comentario:

Anónimo dijo...

how come u like being like that?i know, many people just like u and me think the same about keep on fighting for what u've dreamed of.but, what if u actually got the open door u've been asking for since days passed?what if someone is really there to understand the whole stuff regarding u and your feelings?r u so ungreatful to just letting that person out of your life?out of your existence at all?hey,it's a life out there.there's a bunch of people out there.don't lock up your mind and heart.it's so odd someone as young as u,can actually enjoy to suffer.EMOtional as it seems.i really care about u.although thay say u don't deserve all of this i have within me.i'm just gonna stitch up my eyes and my ears a little while longer.just to fight for what i want from u one more time.sign:victor